Well, It looks like my last post was a lie, hiatus was, in fact, not over. I don’t know what’s going on but I am having such a hard time getting my head back in the “game” lately. I had a complete and total meltdown on Friday where I was quitting the gym, didn’t care if I ate anything at all, let alone anything that would actually fuel my body, I just freaked out and shut down. My eating these past few weeks has been horrific, and not just cooking bad at home horrific, but eating out, not eating, or eating everything in sight. I just don’t have an answer as to what the hell happened to my mindset but it shut down. There is a lot going on personally, but my journey to better health seemed to be the one thing that I could control, but now…phew!
Going to the gym and exercising is something, thankfully, that comes naturally to me, and I love the atmosphere of my classes and I love the afterglow of a great workout. But food is my demon, always has been and seemingly, always will be. I just haven’t found anything that “works” with me and my family. I realize how horrible of an excuse that is, and I’m not try to make them, just being open with what’s going on, as that’s what this is all about 🙂
Years ago I used to be on Weight Watchers and loved it, and also did fairly well on it, but I’m thinking of (when we get some $ back of course) joining Simply For Life. Everyone seems to love it and I have a friend who is excelling on the program. I need structure, plain and simple. At this point food and I cannot be left alone together unsupervised and I need someone to help whip me into shape.
In the meantime, for this week, I’m going back to Visalus twice a day only because I still have bags of it kicking around the place. I did find that after I was on it for a bit before, that it did help break some of my connection with food and it’s basically fool proof and there is very little planning involved. That’s what I feel like I need right now; a system reboot. So that, my friends, is what I will give myself because even through all my negative self talking I’ve been doing lately (things I would NEVER say to another living thing) I could feel that spark way down deep that knew I was worth more than that. So I shall try to fan that flame and get it back, because I do deserve this, we all do 🙂
P.S I recently joined with world of Twitter (Twittervers?) so follow me and keep up with the everyday happenings of @kylaonamission 🙂