When I started this blog I was on a mission to be skinny, now I am on a mission to be as fit and healthy as I can be! This journey is always changing:)

Archive for May, 2013

Ho Hum, a post on my reality

Well, It looks like my last post was a lie, hiatus was, in fact, not over. I don’t know what’s going on but I am having such a hard time getting my head back in the “game” lately.  I had a complete and total meltdown on Friday where I was quitting the gym, didn’t care if I ate anything at all, let alone anything that would actually fuel my body, I just freaked out and shut down.  My eating these past few weeks has been horrific, and not just cooking bad at home horrific, but eating out, not eating, or eating everything in sight. I just don’t have an answer as to what the hell happened to my mindset but it shut down.  There is a lot going on personally, but my journey to better health seemed to be the one thing that I could control, but now…phew!

Going to the gym and exercising is something, thankfully, that comes naturally to me, and I love the atmosphere of my classes and I love the afterglow of a great workout. But food is my demon, always has been and seemingly, always will be. I just haven’t found anything that “works” with me and my family. I realize how horrible of an excuse that is, and I’m not try to make them, just being open with what’s going on, as that’s what this is all about 🙂

Years ago I used to be on Weight Watchers and loved it, and also did fairly well on it, but I’m thinking of (when we get some $ back of course) joining Simply For Life. Everyone seems to love it and I have a friend who is excelling on the program. I need structure, plain and simple. At this point food and I cannot be left alone together unsupervised and I need someone to help whip me into shape.

In the meantime, for this week, I’m going back to Visalus twice a day only because I still have bags of it kicking around the place. I did find that after I was on it for a bit before, that it did help break some of my connection with food and it’s basically fool proof and there is very little planning involved. That’s what I feel like I need right now; a system reboot.  So that, my friends, is what I will give myself because even through all my negative self talking I’ve been doing lately (things I would NEVER say to another living thing) I could feel that spark way down deep that knew I was worth more than that. So I shall try to fan that flame and get it back, because I do deserve this, we all do 🙂

P.S I recently joined with world of Twitter (Twittervers?) so follow me and keep up with the everyday happenings of @kylaonamission   🙂

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Hiatus is OVER

Ugh what a dramatic and stressful few weeks it’s been, super sick dog, broken van, blood and other testing for my boy and I could go on.  I was dealing with so many emotions and things just seemed to be flying at us from all angles and I was feeling so overwhelmed with it all that I decided I was going to take a week off from the gym.  Well, we all know how those usually turn out right? 3 weeks later and I was feeling pissed off, cranky and sluggish, man I missed the gym! Because the gym had become such a habit for me and I usually go 4-5 times a week, I forgot how much I depend on the gym to keep me sane!  I am no longer myself when I don’t go to the gym on a regular basis, I missed spin class, I missed the feeling of upping my squat weights, I missed watching my calorie burn on my watch, I MISSED IT!

I went back to the gym on Tuesday for my usual BodyPump/Zumba combo and thought it was a good idea to use my regular weights…lol ouch. My quads are half dead and I couldn’t possibly be any happier about it. I missed you muscles, sorry I left you out in the cold for a bit, it won’t happen again.

(ok, well maybe, shit happens, but I will never ever forget about you for long.)

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