When I started this blog I was on a mission to be skinny, now I am on a mission to be as fit and healthy as I can be! This journey is always changing:)

Archive for May, 2013

Ho Hum, a post on my reality

Well, It looks like my last post was a lie, hiatus was, in fact, not over. I don’t know what’s going on but I am having such a hard time getting my head back in the “game” lately. ย I had a complete and total meltdown on Friday where I was quitting the gym, didn’t care if I ate anything at all, let alone anything that would actually fuel my body, I just freaked out and shut down. ย My eating these past few weeks has been horrific, and not just cooking bad at home horrific, but eating out, not eating, or eating everything in sight. I just don’t have an answer as to what the hell happened to my mindset but it shut down. ย There is a lot going on personally, but my journey to better health seemed to be the one thing that I could control, but now…phew!

Going to the gym and exercising is something, thankfully, that comes naturally to me, and I love the atmosphere of my classes and I love the afterglow of a great workout. But food is my demon, always has been and seemingly, always will be. I just haven’t found anything that “works” with me and my family. I realize how horrible of an excuse that is, and I’m not try to make them, just being open with what’s going on, as that’s what this is all about ๐Ÿ™‚

Years ago I used to be on Weight Watchers and loved it, and also did fairly well on it, but I’m thinking of (when we get some $ back of course) joining Simply For Life. Everyone seems to love it and I have a friend who is excelling on the program. I need structure, plain and simple. At this point food and I cannot be left alone together unsupervised and I need someone to help whip me into shape.

In the meantime, for this week, I’m going back to Visalus twice a day only because I still have bags of it kicking around the place. I did find that after I was on it for a bit before, that it did help break some of my connection with food and it’s basically fool proof and there is very little planning involved. That’s what I feel like I need right now; a system reboot. ย So that, my friends, is what I will give myself because even through all my negative self talking I’ve been doing lately (things I would NEVER say to another living thing) I could feel that spark way down deep that knew I was worth more than that. So I shall try to fan that flame and get it back, because I do deserve this, we all do ๐Ÿ™‚

P.S I recently joined with world of Twitter (Twittervers?) so follow me and keep up with the everyday happenings of @kylaonamission ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

Hiatus is OVER

Ugh what a dramatic and stressful few weeks it’s been, super sick dog, broken van, blood and other testing for my boy and I could go on. ย I was dealing with so many emotions and things just seemed to be flying at us from all angles and I was feeling so overwhelmed with it all that I decided I was going to take a week off from the gym. ย Well, we all know how those usually turn out right? 3 weeks later and I was feeling pissed off, cranky and sluggish, man I missed the gym! Because the gym had become such a habit for me and I usually go 4-5 times a week, I forgot how much I depend on the gym to keep me sane! ย I am no longer myself when I don’t go to the gym on a regular basis, I missed spin class, I missed the feeling of upping my squat weights, I missed watching my calorie burn on my watch, I MISSED IT!

I went back to the gym on Tuesday for my usual BodyPump/Zumba combo and thought it was a good idea to use my regular weights…lol ouch. My quads are half dead and I couldn’t possibly be any happier about it. I missed you muscles, sorry I left you out in the cold for a bit, it won’t happen again.

(ok, well maybe, shit happens, but I will never ever forget about you for long.)

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