(Photo courtesy of Fat Man Walking on Facebook)
I’ve just recently finished reading a wonderful book, Fat Man Walking Lessons in Loss, written by a local radio personality and fellow weight loss journey goer, Jay McNeil. *You can find his book, blog, and links to his other social media outlets (all of which I recommended following!) Here * The book is a great read and he writes like he’s having a conversation and I loved that so much. Sometimes it made me feel like he was talking only to me because of how spot on he was about self talk and how he got to his highest weight in the first place. It made me realize a lot of things, and do a lot of self reflection on how I got here and why I truly want to change. Not going to lie, some days I feel like giving up, like it’s a pointless endeavour to keep fighting with myself when I feel like this past 7 months has been a constant battle of two steps forward one step back, Throughout the course of the book I finally realized for myself, what my SFL consultant has been trying to tell me for months, stop doing this for the number on the scale and start doing it to feel better, live longer and healthily, just be happy with who I am, what I do and what I’m capable of.
After Baby G was born in 2012 I hit the gym hard and I lost 60lbs, the most I’ve ever been able to lose. Then I lost sight of why I was so focused on dropping the weight in the first place. I became overwhelmed with the trying rather than the doing. I was more focused on what people were thinking about me, and how I looked rather than how I was feeling. I was trying too hard, if that makes any sense. I was making every waking moment about weight loss and only lost myself in the process. Looking back now, it’s no surprise I gained half of that loss back, I felt like I was faking my attempt at health.
Lesson in Loss helped me realize that I am capable of so much more than I am letting myself believe, I just need to be brave enough to try, even if I have myself convinced I might fail. I need to just let go, simplify my life and trust the process. I need to start enjoying my life, enjoying the fun I’ll be able to have with my children, and return to my first love, nature.
Fat Man Walking: Lessons in Loss talks about the very real struggle of being overweight and the battle of losing it so accurately that I have asked my wonderful husband to read it to help him better understand how I feel. He’s amazing and supportive but it’s hard for anyone to truly relate to a situation they’ve never been in. So thank you Jay, for being so open and honest about your journey as I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.